grief

Today I am just flowing with emotions, to be precise I cried for an hour and it's been a while that I cried so I thought if I feel like crying then I should just go ahead n cry as much as I want.

At times I feel like I lost something or like somebody died...I don't know how does it feel to loose someone but may be its like this.

Somebody died who never existed at first place.

Death is a full stop. A fullstop that can be put anytime or any moment.

I am not suicidal. I am just in this weird state of mind where I don't know how to feel.

I am a widow who lost her husband who never existed. A widow who cries time to time when she realises her partner died.

I can't even wait to die n meet him because he doesn't exist even in afterlife but surely I loved him so much.

I miss him everyday, I miss his touch, I miss holding his hand and I miss looking at him n I miss the love he has for me. I miss our home where he waits for me. I wish you existed that I atleast felt ur presence...Can't you exist once in my life span...

What if you existed and I could go to you.